Snoring – Is it a Deal Breaker in a Relationship?


Snoring can be the deal breaker in a relationship but does it need to be? If snoring is interrupting or preventing a good night’s rest for one of the partners and the person who is snoring is not willing to discuss or confront the problem and do something about it… snoring definitely can be a deal breaker.

Relationships are about caring and consideration about the comfort and happiness of our partners. And if one partner is negatively affected by snoring, yet the snoring partner isn’t willing to work together to find a solution, they are basically saying that the other person’s comfort and happiness isn’t that important to them. And that, my friends, is a deal breaker in anybody’s language. Yet it doesn’t have to be that way.

True, the situation is a touchy one because the snoring partner can feel guilty, isolated, frustrated, helpless and angry that they are being targeted as a culprit when they are sound asleep when the ‘crime’ is being committed. Or they may try complete denial of the problem and put it back on their partner as their problem ie you are a light sleeper. And the non-snoring partner (the snoree) is often dealing with the symptoms of sleep deprivation because of the loud snoring sounds that are keeping him or her awake all night. Along with daytime sleepiness, lack of energy and concentration during the day and irritability and mood swings that are a part of not being able to get a good night’s rest, the snoree feels hopelessness along with growing resentment, frustration, anger and desperation. Rolled up all together in one relationship, this is a recipe for disaster unless something is done about it.

The good news is that something can be done. Snoring aids, snoring exercises and snoring devices along with lifestyle changes and natural snoring remedies can help minimize or stop snoring completely. The important thing is to realize that the snoring solution that will work for each individual snorer will be different because the causes behind snoring vary. If the snorer is overweight or a smoker, those are two good places to start since both lifestyle choices often cause snoring because of the obstructions that fatty tissues or irritated throat tissues and muscles cause in the air passages. So try out lots of different remedies until you find the one that best suits your personal situation.

I refer to snoring as the ‘silent relationship killer’ because couples are unaware or unwilling to acknowledge that snoring is affecting their relationship. Even though a snorer may not be purposely creating the havoc that their snoring causes in the bedroom and their home at night, once they are aware of how their snoring is silently destroying the intimacy in their relationship and the distress that it causes their partner, they can do something about it. And as a loving, caring partner… they should try to do something about it.

For many people snoring might not rank up there with some of the other ‘big’ relationship deal breakers, but if you happen to be the snoree who lies awake night after night, listening to ear shattering noises and you are unable to get a good night’s rest because of the snoring, you might disagree. And if your snoring partner refuses to understand what a negative impact his or her snoring is having on you and they refuse to do anything about it, you would probably start considering some alternatives arrangements. This could include separate sleeping arrangements, but again this can also negatively impacts the intimacy in a relationship, or changes to the relationship itself.

Even though snoring is often joked about, it is no laughing matter to those sleep deprived bed partners who listen to the raucous noises night after night with no relief. Research has shown that this can cause serious health issues for both the snorer and the snoree. For many couples, snoring that is allowed to continue without any effort to stop it can quite often be considered a relationship ‘deal breaker.’

Jennifer Ross-Taylor
Snoring Relationship Author

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